LISTEN TO ME, I AM NOT AN AFTER THOUGHT!

By Constance Ndeleko

Don’t get me wrong I love you, I Love that you are parents,

But when I close my eyes I feel like am lying to myself

I feel that I am not true to myself. I feel like am cheating on me

I feel vague and off, I feel emotionally distorted

 

I want you to know I appreciate the love; I won’t change it for the world

But if I don’t come straight then that will not be love, I love that you love me

I love that you give me love, I want to say it all but I cannot, I am a bit scared.

 

I am trying to find the right words, the right words to explain it all

I am scared and shuttered, I am scared I will offend you

Will it be the same if I pour myself out?

Conflicted, is the word I will describe myself, I don’t know

Not that I don’t love you, I love you more than you can imagine

 

I am sorry that I love you so much but I will have to tell it all

MAMA, PAPA you say you love me but I don’t feel it is enough

I hate that you don’t listen, I hate that you’ll ignore me sometimes

I hate that you don’t check on me regularly, I hate you forget me most times

 

I want you all to listen even though am a little one, I want you all to understand me

I know you really do love me whole heartedly, trust me, yes I do!

But here is what I want you to understand, JUST, LISTEN TO ME YOUR CHILD

 

Listen, your love Is amazing but I need more than that, I am grateful for all I have

I am blessed to have you, but I need someone to listen ME KEENLY

You work so hard, take me to the best school, I get to have the best you can afford

But that is not enough, I need you to listen, Listen to me now, so that am not left out

Love is sharing, love is caring but the moment you don’t pay attention to the ‘little’ things

Then that’s where you lose it all, you go on business trips which I understand you’ve to work

You pay for the bus to pick me up which I appreciate, but that’s not enough

I need you to be there, there for me, I have a lot to share with you

I want you to understand my little world, as it changes every them

 

MAMA, PAPA I want you to assist me with my homework,

I want you to come to sports day, meetings and exhibitions in school

I want you to play with me, I want you to see me off to school

I want you to help me with my shoe laces and tie in the morning

I want you to come to school as other parents do for their children

I want to feel normal, I want to be loved more

Yes, I appreciate but I need you more even though I know I cannot get all of it

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